The Drunken Bumpkin


T & A (& P)

Death-Scort Service
Directed by: Sean Donohue

Are you a fan of movies that are downright sleazy? Good news then, because Death-Scort Service is certainly up your alley if you are. Death-Scort Service comes courtesy of director Sean Donohue and the company affectionately known as the sleaze box (a more fitting name I couldn’t imagine). It also happens to be one of those films that does nothing more than what it sets out to do and manages to be downright entertaining from start to finish (unless you don’t like copious amounts of nudity and violence). This is one of those films where I’ll never understand how the director convinced decent-good looking women to get naked and murdered, but I’m glad he did. This is a slasher film that is paper thin on story and chock full of tits and ass (and pussy, and violence). It might not be the kind of entertainment that everyone is after, but it certainly gets the job done and left me more than *ahem* satisfied. A group of escorts in Las Vegas have a habit of getting very naked and then getting very violently murdered by a deranged killer, skin is shown and sliced, and then there is a sort of twist at the end (that doesn’t really matter that much because the story isn’t going to be the main selling point of this thing anyway).

Like I said above, the plot here is really paper thin and you already know if this sort of film is for you based on the promise of seeing hot girls naked and gooey spurting violence. To be honest, I’ve watched the film twice and if I was taking a test about whatever plot points the film had, I would most definitely fail. The cinematography and framing here will certainly turn some people off as it is decidedly “cheap” looking. However, there is actually a decent amount of thought put into some of the shots and the film doesn’t appear as if it has been hastily assembled. I’ve seen low budget films with much higher aspirations that ended up looking a lot worse than what Donohue (and DP Chris Woods) pulls off for Death-Scort Service. This is basically a love letter to all things sleazy and low budget that have come before it, and in that aspect Death-Scort Service certainly looks the part. The acting (at least as far as dialogue and line delivery is concerned) is certainly one of the lower points of the film; but much like the plot, that really doesn’t work against a film such as this. The players here are people you will either be familiar with through the underground horror scene (or sleaze box releases in general) or will be people you have never heard of in your life. Krystal “Pixie” Adams, Ashley Lynn Caputo, Bob Glazier, Bailey Paige, Cayt Feinics, etc…… make up the cast, and as far as getting good looking women to take their clothes off and bare it all before being murdered, Death-Scort Service knocks it out of the park. The score for the film is pretty decent and certainly fits the tone of the film quite well but it isn’t going to be something you find yourself humming later on and rather exists as a quiet background noise to the carnage of the film itself. The effects here are all practical and look rather good. Marcus Koch and a few others created the violent spectacles that are displayed here and they did pretty great work on them. Death-Scort Service isn’t the most gruesome film and isn’t even particularly splatter filled, but the slasher concept of naked women being brutally murdered is certainly rendered in a fine and pleasing fashion here (there is a particularly sleazy scene involving a baseball bat and some human anatomy that is quite memorable). Sleazy, violent, and eager to please any fan of those two things, Death-Scort Service is a very entertaining romp that’s accomplished with and populated by boobs, blood, and bravado. I was highly entertained by the film, felt it was competently made, and it certainly delivered on everything it promised to be. I would definitely recommend Death-Scort Service to anyone who has an interest in all things sleaze.

4* out of 5*


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House By the Cemetery anyone?

Not even the tip of the tip of the iceberg when it comes to nudity

death scort

As if I wasn't going to post tits